Dating Sunday
It's a New Year, which means if you were single in 2020, you're probably still single in 2021. Dating Sunday has passed. Oh, you didn't realize last Sunday was dating Sunday? You probably wonder why you saw so many prospective daters coming out of the woodwork last weekend, and that is why. Dating Sunday is the first Sunday after the New Year. It earned its name because it happens to be the day in which those who broke up in December before the holidays, those who were uber holiday focused, and those who set New Year's Resolutions centered around finding love take the plunge and download an online dating app.
The Match App saw a 40% increase in engagement. Remember, Match owns more than Match.com. They also own Tinder and my favorite Hinge. Bumble reported that their video chat is up over 70% since the start of the pandemic in March 2020, when stay-at-home mandates were put in place. With the market flooded with "fresh meat," what should you do to ensure you're putting your best foot forward in your own journey to find love and your happily ever after in the New Year?
Knowing that we cannot continue to do the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result, we need to make changes; however, we also need to keep in mind that adding more fish to the online dating sea also means we have more chum in the water.
I decided to experiment a bit with my online profiles. If you've been tuning into You're Such a Catch podcast, you know that I took a bit of a break from the online apps. They can be exhausting and frankly overwhelming if you're not in the right headspace. I re-launched Bumble and Hinge.
Here's what I did in preparation for Dating Sunday.
Updated my photos on my profile
Refreshed some of the writing prompts
Adjusted my radius
Revamped my preferences
Gave myself a pep talk
What did I tell myself? Funny, you should ask. I first went through my affirmations to get my head right. Here's a behind the scenes look at what those look like:
My single status is a blessing, not a burden.
If a man wants to be with me, then he'll be with me.
I am enough. If I can't be myself, then I can't be with him.
Next, I looked at those who hearted me on Hinge. I usually do that first before swiping/hearting since I can see the men who've indicated they're interested. I tried to take my time with the profiles versus performing finger exercises at an unhealthy pace. Next, I hopped over to Bumble and started swiping.
My findings, lots of new faces, and men labeled as "Just Joined." Dating Sunday was in full effect as promised, BUT even with the additional pool of men to choose from, I experienced some challenges. I noticed most men reaching out to me were younger despite my preferred age range being between 33-45. These men were looking for one thing, well, actually two—a sugar mama or sex. Neither option aligns with my desired outcome from the apps, so I kindly declined those matches, tapping on the "x." A few men had witty openers, which I appreciated, but I chose not to respond if I wasn't interested in getting to know the man better. I don't want to misuse either of our time. To the men I matched on Bumble, conversations struggled. I led with a thoughtful opener, mentioning something from their profile, asking a question, or ensuring I was soliciting more than a one-word response in return. The problem?
We may be in a New Year, but some men didn't leave their bad habits in 2020 and instead carried them into 2021, the year I declare I'm finding love. If this didn't happen to you, consider yourself lucky. Stop reading this immediately, grab your mask and your car keys, head to the nearest 7-11, and purchase a lottery ticket. The behavior I'm referencing is all too familiar. A man in his 40's who immediately makes the conversation sexual. His profile stating he is looking for a relationship and wants kids someday. I know there's a Dating Coach out there who would fight me on this saying it's the men I'm attracting, but I'd beg to differ.
I think app culture, and this means of getting to know someone has its positives and its negatives. With low emotional investment, a man can immediately take the conversation to sex because there's a woman out there who's fine with that; maybe that's what she's looking for, and that's okay, but that's not what I'm after. I encountered some men who were on the opposite spectrum, immediately tried to get on a phone call before I could reply to the "Can I call you?" text. Why are you asking if you're not going to await my reply? Usually, I wouldn't care because the end goal is to connect with someone and progress the relationship. How can I remember which one is "Matthew" as the incoming call notification illuminates on my phone with little to no warning? I couldn't. I'd prefer to have a moment and focus my energy solely on Matthew if that's what I choose to do.
I hate to break this to you, but Dating Sunday will not solve our dating challenges even with its influx of prospects. I'm not quite sure what will, but I'm determined to get to the bottom of it. I believe the larger pond is good; however, you have to exercise some real patience and be mindful of burnout. Pace yourself while swiping. It's a numbers game. We're looking for that needle in the haystack. For me, I'm still not one-hundred percent sold that dating apps are the best means to connect with someone, but I am happy to continue exploring as I'm on my quest for love. I can't stop, won't stop until I meet my man.
Keep up the hope, ladies. Anything can happen with the right mindset, some patience, and a little serendipity.
I would love to hear about your experience with online dating apps. Feel free to share in the comments below.
