30 Day App Cleanse
I was listening to Gina Ruccione’s Pod Cast, A Series of Unfortunate Dates, specifically the episode, “The PataGucci Guy” and her guest, Bridgette made a comment that resonated. She said, “People want to know about other people’s dating experiences because everyone’s just trying to figure it out.”
Truer words have never been spoken. Case in point, every time I get together with my single girlfriends, the main topic of conversation is dating. I love sharing a good story, especially a dating story. I’ll touch on the highs and add humor to the lows. Typically, there’s a climax. Short-lived. Often there’s a reason there won’t be a second date, and that’s okay. But I always vow to dust myself off and get back out there.
Our girl talk is vital. It’s where we get our fix of what’s “trending” for singles. It’s not uncommon to circulate screenshots of profiles of guys we should avoid. It’s good to know who’s been ruled a f*ck boy and who we shouldn’t bother wasting our time on. Contrary, we’ll show off a guy’s profile to the group if we went on a good date. There’s nothing better than receiving that validation from your friends, “aww he’s cute”, in unison. It’s also good to get a visual just in case you see him still on an app after they define their relationship as exclusive. Chicks before d*cks, always. During girl talk, a friend might mention an article she read or a new dating app she thinks we should all try. There might even be a new hot spot for us to scope out. We seem to put a lot of effort and energy into the hunt. I’m beginning to wonder if we’re hunting in the right place?
Which brings us to the million dollar question, where do you meet a good guy? If you’ve cracked the code STOP reading immediately and comment below! I’m not just speaking for myself, but for single women everywhere. We’ll be forever indebted!
My fear is you’re going to reply with one of the following:
The right guy will find you when you’re not looking and when you least expect it.
There are good guys everywhere. Have you tried going to church? What about the gym or the grocery store?
Or my least favorite in which my own mother has said:
What if you don’t find someone? Are you going to be okay with that?
A girlfriend recently shared that she believes when it comes to dating, it’s all about timing. The more I pondered this, the more it made sense, and the more I wanted to experiment with her theory. I started reflecting on why past relationships didn’t work. I think her concept holds some truth. Both people have to be on the same page emotionally and mentally and moving in the same direction.
With apps, almost every guy in his late thirties, early fourties says he wants kids someday, but writes in his bio, “looking to have fun” or alludes to wanting something causal. What an oxymoron! As a single woman juggling a career, social life, charity work, and more, I’ve become accustomed to relying on these apps to deliver prospective suitors. It hasn’t happened. I’ve swiped and written cheesy one-liners for four years now. I’ve been on dates. I’ve been wine and dined. I’ve definitely been entertained, but that’s not the result I’m after. At the risk of doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, I’m going to mix it up.
Here’s the plan:
1. Abstain from swiping. Don’t worry; I have enough content for Instagram to get us through a month, let alone the remainder of 2019 and beyond.
2. Approach a man who catches my eye whether it be in the gym, the airport or at Wholefoods. Who says the woman can’t make the first move?
3. Quit thinking, projecting, speculating. Positive thoughts only.
4. Focus on me, my goals, my aspirations.
5. Organize a soiree where everyone invites their single friends, guys, and girls alike. Picture a Patti Stanger meet and greet minus the two drink maximum.
This 30-day app cleanse starts now! Don’t worry, I will provide a full report on how things shake out. You can count on that!
